Contrary rustics can get altogether too fanatical at times. Eager to try out some old seed and save a few bucks yet mindful of my wife's yearly complaints about filling our tiny bathroom with seedlings, I decided to scale down a bit and only start a few smallish flats of seedlings instead of the eight to twelve of past years. It is all too easy to get carried away and overplant as I think I like the starting out part and magical emergence of weird and wonderfully different tiny little bits of green seemingly like TRUE MAGIC from those itty bitty eensy teensy seeds and dirt. So I thought I would work from those smallish mini flat fibre type plant thing ma jiggies instead of cell packs and full flats. Keep just enough to "fill a pipeline" and move them along first from the heat of composting toilet, safely esconced in plastic bags to keep the cats somewhat at bay, to a hanging overhead plant light as PHASE TWO once they germanate for a few weeks, to outside in hot bed as PHASE THREE and then on to planting at last.
Well, as they say about the best laid plans of mice and men etc...don't always work out that way. My biggest problem is our beloved (?) but darn cats. Buffy and Kit-Ten as my wife calls her, just don't mix too well with seedlings. Nor does our goofy year old lab Lucy. Basically they love digging and eating anything I so carefully plant, seeds, green, whatever. Buffy so neatly chews off those green ends you can imagine she thinks she is a Parisienne sophisticate nibbling on aparagus shoots in a cafe or something. So this year ye old contrary rustic thinks he has a brilliant brainwave. Why not keep lights, plants and all totally out of cat and dog reach by hanging EVERYTHING oh so high from the ceiling, far enough away from all leaping and sitting spots so the little devils cannot possibly get their seedlng fix short of leaping straight up 6 feet from the floor - impossible me thinks...
So old dumbo here thinks up an economic solution is to hang the grow lights on chains, then HANG the flat support by ropes directly below with nothing whatsoever resting on floor or wall. And cleverly rigs up plywood, ropes and aluminum foil etc reflectors etc to do so. Then carefully transplants 6 miniflats worth of veggies and flowers sprouted for a week over the old composing toilet warm spot, ever so gently and rests those in turn in plastic flats to catch drips etc and turns on the whole stage two of lights. Kazam! my own perfect little pussy-proof incubator setup. Well there they rest for a day, perking up quickly under the added light of two new grow lamps, just about eye level, happy as clams. Cats staring enviously from the floor at fresh dainty new shoots they can't get at - Aha! foiled at last damned beasts!
One little problem though. Said contrary rustic gets too impatient and having read a few more gardening pages decides the plants are not at the optimum 3-4" away and hence should adjust his tent guy line type hanging lines suspending the trays. So late that night while son and wife contently watch the boob tube I attempt to trim and raise these lines and am about half way through his Herculean feat when S:AM! BAM! the whole shebang suddenly pitches sickenling and all six flats plummet to ground, and assorted computer printer, chair, desk and whatnot beside this computer. In one second it is all over. About five hours of work destroyed and dirt and seedlings everywhere - a real good spread, even down in the slot by the paper on the printer. Cats and dog and wife watch bemusedly while Contrary Rustic freaks out and cusses most angrily. David remarks that he would have been happy to hold it while I adjusted it, but a bit late on that one methinks.
So needing someone to blame beside my idiotic self, I get mad at the cats for forcing me to such acrobatic suspension feats in the first place. But of course I feel pretty foolish. David gracefully helps me try to scoop up various cucumber, corn, sunflower, bean and pea sprouts etc into vaguely the right box. Some succeed as one or two almost land dead upside down while others are hopelessly broken smashed and scattered. After that sticky dirty operation, much vacuuming of carpet and printers ensues, under the sarcastic comments of the rustic's patient wife.
Well, eventually it wasn't a total disaster. After a week some of those bent and tortured little seedlings mustered strength and grew more under those lights, never to be adjusted in height again by the way. So far, no second disasters, and no cat raiding afterall. But all in all if I didn't fear the cats and Lucretia McEvil the dog putting seedlings flat on the floor seems a much safer approach. Ah well, maybe next year.....
I am behind on this blog but on May 24th I did manage to get all transplanted and nine square foot gardens started ok, and with the aid of some transplants from a nursery, even had my first tiny trimmings of a salad last week! When I have time to read instructions, might even upload some pix sometime. And tell you of more gardening follies. Soon enough I hope to get onto some woodish topics.
My for now!
The Contrary Rustic...
